


manual for teenage lesbian dating

by etymology



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse)
Genre: F/F, Fake Dating, Mission Fic, Prom, but still a disaster, getting together fic, god i love them, negasonic teenage disaster lesbian, they're both disaster lesbians, this is a lesbians only event go home, yukio is a bit more of a functional lesbian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 06:06:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15042416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etymology/pseuds/etymology
Summary: ellie skipped her own prom, but thanks to the x-men, she’s going to yukio’s prom.or, the one where ellie and yukio go on an undercover mission at yukio’s old high school on prom night, and ellie finds out that yukio isn’t as straight as she previously thought.





	manual for teenage lesbian dating

**Author's Note:**

> listen. they're in love and i wanted to write them being useless lesbians.
> 
> also, this is dedicated to H, aka one of my fav people ever, who has a birthday today. happy birthday!! i love you.

//

“Let us go through the plan one more time.”

She groaned. “Do we have to? Really?”

Ellie Phimister (AKA Negasonic Teenage Warhead, active member of the superhero team X-Men) was not having the best day of her life. More and more recently, she had been finding herself in trouble way more often than usual. Ever since meeting this one particular girl, Ellie had been having issues with, like, destiny or whatever.

It was like fate was specifically fucking with her, just for fun, by sending her into situations like this with people who were in on the joke. At the moment, the situation was this stupid mission and the person was Colossus.

He did not seem to be in on the joke, however.

“It is necessary, as a member of the X-Men,” said Colossus, already going on one of his X-Men speeches, “to follow the plan that the team leader has meticully prepared.”

“Meticulously,” said Ellie, putting her hands on her hips.

“Meticullusly,” said Colossus, in an attempt at repeating the word.

“We’ll work on it later,” she replied. Colossus nodded, and put his metallic hand on her shoulders. She could not feel the weight of it, but somehow, on top of the suit they had gotten tailored specially for this event, his touch was heavier, burdened.

“Now, the plan,” he said, taking his hand away and crossing his arms over his chest. She knew that his metallic disposition was only _one_ of the reasons why he couldn’t have been more involved in this mission—specifically, why he couldn’t have taken her place entirely—but still, _ugh_.

Ellie sighed, and mimicked his stance. “Yukio and I will go through the main entrance, find the most murderous looking kid, take him out.”

“That is not the plan, Negasonic Teenage Warhead,” said Colossus.

“It’s the abridged version.”

“Hey, Ellie?”

Colossus motioned for her to go to the adjoining room, which, in a completely unforeseen turn of events, had become their most recent recruit’s bedroom.

Yet another reason why fate hated her: their most recent recruit was the gorgeous, amazing, perfect Yukio, who was straight as an arrow.

Which was fine, really, except for when Yukio decided an impromptu girls’ night was in order, and demanded that Ellie settle next to her for a horror movie, then curled up against her for the duration of it. Ellie mostly wanted to know why the hell Yukio kept picking out horror movies to watch when she didn’t really seem to like them that much.

“Yes, Yukio?” said Ellie, trying to keep her voice from going to a pitch that resembled a fifteen year old boy’s.

“Could you help me with the zipper? I think it might be stuck.” Yukio was looking at Ellie through the mirror of her dresser, holding the blue material of her dress against her chest. She wasn’t wearing her wig yet, and her black hair went just past her shoulders. Her back was bare, the zipper stuck in the middle.

Fate must have really fucking hated her, huh.

“S-sure,” said Ellie, stepping towards the other girl. It was kind of hard to keep from getting flustered around Yukio, on account of Yukio being the most gorgeous girl Ellie had ever laid eyes on and also, Ellie being a huge ass lesbian with a huge ass crush.

“Thanks,” said Yukio, bright smile almost blinding. “It’s just- I thought I could like, try to fix it by myself, but then I got scared of breaking the zipper, so I thought it would be best to enlist your help, since you’re so good with your hands.”

Ellie looked down at her hands, which were hovering over the zipper, because she was too much of a lesbian disaster to actually _do_ this.

“No problem,” she said, finally forcing herself to just act unaffected. Cool and unaffected, yes, perfect. She could do this. She was doing this. “We could probably have fixed it with like, safety pins or something, but yeah, good call.”

“Safety pins, right,” said Yukio, seemingly disappointed.

Ellie looked up at her through the mirror, and watched as Yukio’s eyes flicked to the side thoughtfully. Yukio was worrying her bottom lip, and Ellie could not possibly have been expected to focus then. Her hand slipped.

“Oh,” said Yukio, her back straightening before she leaned into Ellie’s touch. A spark of electricity ran up Yukio’s spine, and Ellie watched it disappear over her shoulder. “Your hands are really warm.”

“Sorry,” said Ellie, automatic.

“No, it’s- it’s good,” replied Yukio. She looked like she wanted to say something else, and Ellie hesitated, waiting for her to continue. After ten whole seconds of Yukio saying absolutely nothing and Ellie’s fingers holding onto the zip, she continued tugging up incrementally out of fear of interrupting Yukio’s train of thought.

Ellie zipped up the last part of the dress. “All done.”

“Wow, thank you. I couldn’t have done it without your help.”

“I didn’t really do much,” said Ellie, shrugging and stepping back from Yukio. “It wasn’t like, _that_ stuck. You would’ve managed, eventually.”

“Oh, hey, your tie,” said Yukio, stepping closer to Ellie. She raised her hands up to Ellie’s collar, flicking it up against her neck and slicking the skinny tie off with a snap. “I used to help my dad with his. He couldn’t tie a Windsor to save his life, so.”

Ellie could barely focus on what the hell was happening. Yukio was mere inches away from her face, fixing her tie and looking at it so intently that Ellie was starting to feel a blush creep up her neck. Yukio had probably noticed it too, because as soon as she was done, she tugged a couple of times on the tie and smiled at her in a way that Ellie had never seen her smile at _anyone_ before.

“You look nice,” said Yukio, dragging her eyes up to Ellie’s. She shrugged softly, and crossed her arms across her chest nervously. “You always look nice.”

Yukio bit into her lip, and Ellie noticed that she was wearing lip gloss. Really shiny lip gloss.

“We should get mission,” said Ellie suddenly, as she stepped away from Yukio, nearly tripping over her own two feet. “I mean- the going. We should get going. The _mission_.”

“Right, yes,” said Yukio, smiling. “It’s a very important mission.”

Ellie nodded, and left Yukio’s room.

//

The mission was this: prom night.

Specifically, a rogue mutant who had been planning on showing up to it.

Ellie hadn’t even gone to her own prom, because a) it had been cancelled fifteen minutes in because of a gas leak, and b) she had only found out that it had gotten cancelled because one of her former friends (who had bothered showing up to the event) had called her an hour into her second playthrough of Tomb Raider to tell her about the gas leak.

(Her prom night had turned into yet another impromptu X-Men mission and she had to give up on Tomb Raider anyway, but that wasn’t important.)

That, and the fact that she and Yukio were going undercover as a couple, because all of the other age-appropriate X-Men were otherwise occupied, allegedly.

Ellie’s personal mission was to survive pretending to be out on a date with the girl she had a (very real) huge crush on, while not letting the aforementioned girl know that she had a huge crush on her.

Which was kind of hard, given that Yukio was sitting about an inch from her, wearing a form-fitting dress that showed off her toned arms and shoulders, and even though Ellie had seen the girl’s bare arms plenty of times before, it had never been in this specific context.

“Hey, why are we taking a limo again?” asked Ellie, just so that she could focus on something that wasn’t Yukio or the pastel pink wig she was wearing. It complemented the dress.

“We’re undercover, remember,” said Yukio, throwing her a smile. She was tapping her knee with the tips of her nails, to the tune of the song that was playing on the radio. “It would make people a bit suspicious if we just came in on the jet, so.”

“Makes sense,” said Ellie, casually. She tugged at her collar.

“Is it bothering you?”

“A little,” said Ellie. Yukio’s gaze was on her still. “But I can deal with it.”

“You don’t have to,” said Yukio, already reaching up to loosen Ellie’s tie for her. “You can just _ask_ me to help, you know.”

“It’s fine, honest,” said Ellie, leaning into the other girl’s grip. Yukio had put on perfume, Ellie realised. She hadn’t noticed until Yukio had gotten close enough to breathe in. The way Yukio was smiling at her was intoxicating.

Ellie was supposed to be focused on the mission, the kid, and not how close Yukio was and what her lip gloss tasted like. Ellie grabbed Yukio’s wrist, and held it away from her tie, which the other girl had loosened enough that Ellie felt less like she was being choked to death.

“Let’s just.. focus on the mission,” said Ellie, softly.

“Yes, let’s,” said Yukio, turning to look out the window.

//

Fifteen minutes into Prom, Ellie started to suspect that something wasn’t quite right.

Yukio was holding a plastic cup filled with (probably spiked) punch, hanging off of Ellie’s arm, and doing nothing to find the potential national emergency who should have been their top priority, which was weird. The girl had always been focused during all the other missions that she had been included in thus far, but she wasn’t taking this as seriously as Ellie had expected her to.

Another weird thing that Ellie hadn’t noticed was weird until they walked into the basketball court that was doubling as a ballroom and people started calling out to them: this was Yukio’s old high school. People _knew_ Yukio here. Which was why she had been chosen for the mission to begin with, but still. It felt _way_ too real to be pretend.

Which it was. Completely. Because they weren’t dating.

They had planned out a basic story of how they met and how they had gotten together—it was necessary, after all, for their mission—and it was the story of how they had actually met, along with a fabrication that was based on more truths: Ellie had confessed to a crush during a movie night, and they had been dating ever since.

It was so calming, listening to Yukio describe the way they had supposedly gotten together, that Ellie didn’t realise that almost half an hour had passed since they had first gotten there.

“Hey, do you want a soda or something?” asked Yukio, when she noticed that Ellie had barely touched her drink. “There’s a vending machine near the swimming pool. You have to kick it a couple of times, but it’ll pop out a coke at some point.”

“There is no time to get a soda,” said Ellie, seriously. “We’re on a mission.”

“Yes, and the mission objective is that I wanna get you a soda. Come on,” said Yukio, tugging on her hand. Yukio had laced their fingers together at some point, and Ellie had not really wanted to break their handhold, so she hadn’t.

“Yukio,” said Ellie, trying so very hard not to smile on her way out of the basketball court. “We really should be looking for the kid.”

“Oh, he’s not coming. It’s fine now,” said Yukio, who hadn’t forgotten a single inch of the building, because they were standing in front of a pair of vending machines and one of them did indeed look like it got kicked a _lot_.

“It’s.. fine now?” asked Ellie, who was starting to get suspicious of Yukio’s motives. “What do you mean, it’s _fine_ now? How can it be fine?”

“I mean, Piotr texted and said the crisis has been averted.” Yukio smiled up at her, picking up a quarter from underneath a brick that was hidden behind one of the vending machines. “What do you want?”

“Wait, what?”

“I wouldn’t trust any of the herbal tea stuff because no one here drinks it, so it’s probably been there for years, but everything else should be fine,” said Yukio, pushing the coin into the vending machine. “Do you want me to pick something out for you?”

“What- no, I-” said Ellie, and pressed two numbers just to get Yukio’s attention on her again. “Can you just- explain what the hell is happening.”

The vending machine whirred, and a can dropped to the bottom of it. Yukio sighed, disappointed.

“That was the herbal tea.”

“What?”

“You picked the herbal tea,” said Yukio, sadly. She poked the vending machine with her finger. Ellie watched as a tiny flicker of electricity shot out of Yukio’s finger, ran up the glass, and snuck in through the air vents like a tiny little spark on a mission. The vending machine groaned, then whirred, and spat out a coke.

“Why are you doing this?” asked Ellie, just as the vending machine dropped another coke.

“Doing what?” said Yukio, leaning down to get the can from the machine. She handed Ellie the first can, and took the other one for herself.

Ellie sighed, but took the soda anyway. “Was there ever even a job here?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” said Ellie softly. “We got all dressed up, and you’re introducing me to all your former classmates, and this doesn’t really feel like a mission anymore, Yukio.”

Yukio was blushing now, and she seemed so nervous, that it was making Ellie feel even more nervous herself.

“Okay, so maybe, I mean,” said Yukio, as she alternated between holding her can between one hand and the other. “What would you say if I said that I might have needed a date to Prom, but I didn’t really know how to ask you without it getting weird if you said no, and Piotr said he’d help and then.. There was a fake national emergency and it sounded like a good idea?”

Ellie blinked. Yukio was blushing, and Ellie wasn’t sure but she might have just let off a spark into the coke can, which meant that she needed to remember to tell Yukio not to open it, right after her brain started working again.

“You faked a national emergency to get me to take you to Prom?”

“Well, uh, yeah?” said Yukio, kind of embarrassed. “It wasn’t entirely Piotr’s idea, actually. He just kind of.. went along with whatever, and the others said they would say they were busy if you asked them pointblank, so-”

“Wait, do you _like_ me, like, _like_ like me?”

The other girl frowned.

“Ellie,” she replied, slowly. She was toying with the tab, and Ellie was sure that she was going to open the soda can soon. “I’ve been flirting with you since the day we met, so you could say that, yeah, I _like_ like you.”

Ellie opened her mouth, then closed it again.

“What did you think all those movie nights were about?”

“I thought you were straight and just, uh, really friendly?” said Ellie, somehow not managing to convince herself, even though she knew that she was telling the truth. Yukio looked at her like she had said the most ridiculous thing in the world, which she might as well have.

Yukio, with stumbling and harried fingers, finally popped open the can. It spilled out all over her hands, and there was a part of Ellie that wished she hadn’t, because now she couldn’t focus on anything other than Yukio’s wet, soda-sticky fingers.

“You think I’m _straight_?” said Yukio, eyes wide and mouth agape. She was making an even bigger mess in her attempt to get rid of the can by placing it on the floor and staining the tiles.

“I- Well, I just assumed-” she said, stumbling over her words while trying so very desperately to keep from making a fool of herself. She tugged out the handkerchief that Colossus had placed in her front pocket, and handed it over to Yukio.

“Ellie, oh my god,” said Yukio, taking it and wiping her hands on it. Ellie hadn’t wanted it at first, but she had obviously underestimated the need for handkerchiefs. “I thought you knew this entire time, but- Okay, obviously the low-key flirting isn’t working, so. Look, do you want to go out with me on like, a proper date? A romantic, lesbian date, _not_ a friend date.”

“I mean, yes, obviously, that would be amazing and basically everything I’ve ever wanted, but do _you_ want to? I mean, I don’t want to like, pressure you or anything.”

“I was literally the one who asked you out, Ellie,” she replied, with a smile playing along her mouth. “So, yes, I think we can both assume that I want to go out with you.”

“Oh, cool, okay,” said Ellie, trying to register what had just happened, with no luck. She hadn’t had much luck when it came to romance, and this seemed too good to be true, so. “Wait, so you were like, actually flirting with me with all those movie nights?”

Yukio was grinning now. “I just wanted to have an excuse to spend time with you. I actually hate horror movies.”

“I.. hate horror movies too,” she admitted, softly. Ellie looked down at her hands, and noticed that she hadn’t opened her own soda yet. “I only went along with it because you kept picking them out, and I didn’t want to like, be rude.”

“To think, we could have been watching romcoms this entire time,” said Yukio, putting on a serious face. She broke out in a laugh immediately afterwards.

“So, you _like_ me,” said Ellie, for good measure.

“You’re doing this on purpose now, aren’t you,” said Yukio, rolling her eyes. She bit her lip, then let it go. “I like you, Ellie. I really do.”

“Thank you,” she replied, genuinely. Then, when Yukio raised an eyebrow and Ellie realised she was waiting for her to say something other than _‘thank you’_ , Ellie said, “I like you too, by the way.”

“That’s good to know,” said Yukio, grinning. There was a playful tone to her words that Ellie hadn’t really heard from her before. “It would have been kind of embarrassing if you didn’t.”

“We should.. go back to the dance,” said Ellie, plainly. She hadn’t realised how long they had been gone for until just then. “They’ll be wondering where we are.”

“Okay,” said Yukio, holding out her hand.

Ellie took it, and smiled the entire way back to the basketball court.

//

They had an impromptu movie night after they got back from prom.

Ellie made the popcorn (using a microwave, because the last time she had tried using her powers, McCoy had gotten all uptight about it and she didn’t really want to face his wrath so late at night) and Yukio picked out the movie.

Ten minutes into it, Yukio tentatively touched Ellie’s fingers with her pinky, and Ellie opened her palm and let the other girl lace their fingers together. Ellie could feel her blush creeping up her neck.

Neither one of them paid attention to the rest of the movie. When Yukio stood up and head towards her own bedroom, Ellie opened her mouth to tell her to wait, to come back, but the only thing that she could do was step closer to the girl and press her lips to Yukio’s.

“Finally,” said Yukio, as soon as they separated.

“Finally,” Ellie repeated. Yukio rested her forehead against Ellie’s, and sighed softly. “Hey, do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” replied Yukio.

//

**Author's Note:**

> ~~so who's gonna be the ellie to my yukio~~
> 
> found her!!


End file.
